Are you ready to care for a parent with dementia?
New research reveals that middle-aged men are among the least prepared people in the UK to support a loved one with dementia, even though they are most likely to be called upon to do so. Here is what the data shows and what your family can do about it now.
Imagine , your mother begins to repeat herself in conversations. Your father gets lost driving a route he has taken for thirty years. You are in your fifties, managing a demanding job, a mortgage, possibly teenagers still at home and now this. You want to help, but you have absolutely no idea where to start.
If that scenario feels unsettlingly familiar, you are far from alone. Research commissioned in late 2025 reveals a striking and deeply uncomfortable truth about dementia preparedness in the UK: the very people most likely to find themselves as primary carers for a parent with dementia are also the people who feel least equipped to take on that role.
The confidence gap nobody is talking about
The research, conducted by Censuswide among 2,000 adult men without existing caring responsibilities, found that only 14% of men aged 55 and over feel confident they would know how to respond if a family member developed dementia.
Compare that with young people aged 16 to 24, of whom 32% feel ready. In other words, younger adults, with far less life experience and arguably far fewer resources, are more than twice as likely to feel prepared for one of the most emotionally complex and practically demanding situations a family can face.
| 14%
of men 55+ feel ready to support a parent with dementia |
32%
of 16-24 year olds feel ready |
That disparity is not simply a curiosity. It points to a genuine crisis in family care readiness that has profound implications not just for wellbeing, but for financial planning, legal preparedness, and long-term family stability.
Why are older men so much less prepared?
The instinctive answer might be that older people should know more about ageing. The reality is more nuanced, and far more human.
Younger generations have grown up in an era when mental health, cognitive decline, and neurodegenerative conditions are discussed openly, in schools, in the media, in workplaces. Dementia is no longer the unspeakable subject it once was. Young people have frameworks for thinking about it, even if they have never encountered it directly.
Many men in their fifties and sixties were raised in households where difficult subjects simply were not discussed. Dementia was something that happened behind closed doors.
Illness, cognitive decline, and care needs were dealt with privately, often by women in the family and rarely talked about openly. They may never have witnessed how a family navigates a dementia diagnosis. They have no template.
Then add the financial and emotional load many men at this life stage are already carrying, supporting adult children, managing mortgages, preparing for their own retirement, and the sudden prospect of complex cognitive care can feel not just daunting but completely overwhelming.
What does dementia care actually involve?
Part of the reason so many people feel unprepared is that they underestimate the breadth of what dementia care entails. It is not simply helping someone remember things. As the condition progresses, caring for someone with dementia can involve:
- Managing significant personality and behavioural changes
- Navigating NHS and social care systems that can be confusing and slow
- Making legally sensitive decisions about finances and medical treatment
- Funding and arranging professional care, whether at home or in a care setting
- Managing the emotional toll on yourself and the wider family
Care costs in the UK can escalate rapidly. A full-time care home place for someone with dementia can cost between £50,000 and £100,000 per year, depending on the region and the level of specialist nursing required. Without preparation, families can find themselves facing enormous financial decisions under extreme emotional pressure.
The hidden cost: your own wellbeing
There is another dimension to the confidence gap that rarely makes the headlines. When carers feel unprepared and unsupported, the impact extends well beyond the person receiving care.
Carer burnout is a recognised and serious condition. Sleep deprivation, social isolation, strained relationships, anxiety and depression are all disproportionately common among unpaid family carers. The research underscores that men, in particular, often feel unable to ask for help, compounding the problem.
No family should have to navigate a dementia diagnosis without a plan in place. Yet for most, that is exactly what happens.
A diagnosis arrives and suddenly decisions that should have been made months or years earlier need to be taken in days, often by people who are also grieving.
What families can do right now
The encouraging news is that preparation does not have to be complicated. The most impactful steps are often the simplest and the earlier they are taken, the greater the benefit.
Start the conversation before there is a crisis
Talking about care preferences, legal wishes and financial arrangements while everyone is well and clear-headed is far easier than trying to do so during a diagnosis. It does not need to be a formal meeting. It can begin as a natural part of conversations about later life planning.
Put a Power of Attorney in place
A Power of Attorney (POA) is one of the most important legal documents a family can have. It allows a trusted person to make decisions about property, finances and health and welfare on behalf of someone who has lost the mental capacity to do so themselves.
Without a POA, families can face a lengthy and expensive Court of Protection process to gain the authority to act, precisely when speed and clarity are most needed. Scotland and England have slightly different systems. So seek specialist help.
Understand how care is funded
The UK’s approach to social care funding is complex and frequently misunderstood. Many families assume the NHS will cover the cost of dementia care. In most cases, it does not. Local authority support is means-tested, and the thresholds are lower than many people expect. Understanding what funding is available, what assets are assessed, and how to plan appropriately is a task well worth doing before a crisis strikes.
Seek specialist financial advice
A financial adviser with experience in later life planning can help families understand the true cost of care, structure assets in a tax-efficient way, and ensure that the financial impact of a long-term care need does not devastate the family’s wider financial position. This is not a conversation to have in a moment of crisis. It is one to have now, while options are still open.
Frequently asked questions
At what age should I start planning for the possibility of dementia in the family?
The honest answer is, earlier than you think. Ideally, conversations about Power of Attorney and care preferences should happen when everyone involved is in their fifties or sixties, before any cognitive decline becomes apparent. Waiting until a diagnosis has been made often means waiting too long.
What is the difference between a Power of Attorney and a deputyship/guardianship order?
A Power of Attorney is set up in advance, by the person themselves, while they still have mental capacity. A deputyship order or guardianship is granted by the Court of Protection after someone has already lost capacity. The latter is considerably more costly, slower and involves ongoing court supervision. An POA is always the preferred option where it is still possible to obtain one.
Will dementia care be covered by the NHS?
NHS Continuing Healthcare can cover the full cost of care for individuals with a primary health need, including some with advanced dementia. However, eligibility is strictly assessed and many people do not qualify. Most dementia care is funded privately, or partially funded through local authority support subject to a means test. Getting specialist advice early is essential.
How much does dementia care typically cost in the UK?
Costs vary considerably depending on the level of need and the region. Home care can range from around £15 to £25 per hour. Residential care home places typically cost between £35,000 and £55,000 per year. Nursing care for dementia can reach £70,000 to £100,000 or more annually in some areas. These costs underline why financial planning matters so greatly.
I am worried about a parent now. What is the first step?
If you are concerned about a family member’s cognition, speak to their GP as a starting point. From a planning perspective, the most urgent action is to establish whether a Power of Attorney is in place. If not and if your family member still has mental capacity, this should be prioritised.
A financial adviser specialising in later life planning can also help you map out what financial provision exists and what may need to be put in place.
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This information is for guidance only and does not constitute regulated financial advice. To ensure you have personalised advice for your particular set of circumstances, you must make an appointment and speak to one of our professional advisers. Please note these services are chargeable. The facts in this article were correct at time of writing, but you may be reading it in the future. Always check rates and allowances before taking action or speak to a qualified financial planner. All investments carry an element of risk, they can fall as well as rise and you may not get back what you pay in. Errors & omissions excepted.
Source
Research conducted by Censuswide among a sample of 2,000 men without existing caring responsibilities, 12 to 17 November 2025. Censuswide is a member of the Market Research Society and adheres to the MRS Code of Conduct, ESOMAR Principles and the British Polling Council